After careful observation of many men that attempted to pursue me, I found myself appreciating all the things that he was not. In my mind, he should have been heavily pursuing me, texting me, and vying for my time. But instead, he was the complete opposite; he was methodical with how he communicated with me, he controlled the boundaries that stopped me from falling prematurely, all while still being my laughter and biggest supporter. An all around true gentleman was what I had been praying for but too blind to see that it was staring me right in the face.
What I learned was that a man that is truly preparing for his purpose mate will protect your heart in seasons when they know they are not ready to fully commit. He will be open and honest, but most importantly he will be able to balance boundaries. His first intention won’t be to lay with you but to spend time researching and understanding everything about you. Lastly, the same way a man pursues you is the same way he will pursue another woman when he is no longer happy with you.
Remember, people always revert to their default setting until they find the courage to change their baseline. When a man is serious, he will always assess risks and what it takes to commit before fully committing.
Being a woman who has only encountered broken men unsure of what they truly wanted, I found the apprehension of him quite strange. Of course, the enemy tried to make me believe that I was not good enough, that he was not that interested in me, and that to him, I was damaged goods. Isn’t that just like the enemy to make us water down ourselves to the point where we will fall for the one thing that can sabotage our purpose?
I discovered that allowing myself the time to truly pay attention to a man’s actions before falling for his words was the very thing that I needed to help protect my heart. All of these years, I thought being stern and playing hard to get was the proper recipe for protection, but little did I know that intentionality and a watchful eye would take me so much further. This method helped me to stay hopeful, open with my heart, and faithful to my journey that the promise God gave me would surely come to pass.
As I began, paying attention to the intentionality of him and the ways in which he strategized to get my attention, I realized that everything that I had been bothering God about, he was and was becoming. Anxious I was...annoyed by the process, I stayed. But all the while I knew that he would be worth the wait.
I was too tired to settle again, too smart to miscalculate, and too anointed to miscarry this blessing again; as I had done times before in my season of immaturity. This time, I was destined to not only collide into my Purpose but also my Purpose Mate.
My desire for more was like a fire unable to be contained. The enemy tempted me with many tricks trying to make me give in early, he played on everything that he could so that I would make a sharp, un-calculated turn. Literally, every wrong road and wrong turn eventually became my confidence that where I was headed this time was going to be the right place.
I became sensitive to the Holy Spirit, intentional about my motives, and consistently walking in my purpose. I vowed to myself that I would give God a try with my heart and I commit everyday to do just that. Honestly, some days, getting off the ride early sounds tempting, but sabotaging the greatest blessing of my life is too scary for me to make that move. So I sit, somedays patiently, other days anxious, and most days flat out confused by what God is doing. What I know is that God is doing far better than I have ever done. On Purpose.
You for Me